The room a few months ago. I wanted to show off my bedspread. And my map to Candy Mountain in the upper left corner (birthday gift...they made me a Candy Mountain cake, too). Along the ceiling, my paper chain countdown system. On the right, a close-up. Wow, that looks long. Not anymore. Only 2 loops now.
3 comments:
I remember when I was pre-marriage. There was so much "You have to get married and punch out babies or you are not a woman" crap.
Lucky for me, I always wanted to be a mother and actually resented all the women telling me that motherhood was not a "worthy enough" goal. So I have never been pressured to use the "gifts those other women made possible" i.e. high-stress-low-relationship- success jobs.
I also remember the waiting.
One thing that makes a big difference is sending out the message to God and the Universe that you are ready for marriage and family. From your blog, you have not been "ready" up to now, and even now are only getting closer. So why whine that "he" hasn't come along yet? How hard would it have been to say "yes" if he were here and hounding for marital bliss before you were ready?
And i don't mean ready like "consigned" to marriage. I mean READY.
Marriage is tough. It's awesome. And it's tough. It's much like making bread. (and if that isn't a housewife's analogy, i don't know what is.) So let me try something else.
You've mentioned taming horses. Marriage is the corral or the mountainside where you tame your inner wild horse. Not where it runs free, not where you tame your spouse's wild horse, but where you tame your own. And that's rough. But it's also awesome. For those moments when your spouse is standing outside the corral, and they see the progression you are making: and they smile or they offer comfort or they take the dejected and worn you into the ranch house for a foot rub.
Does this make sence? It makes a lot of sence to me.
Give motherhood the credit it deserves. There's a reason some of the most gruesome murders and violent abuse happens in a family by a mother: they can't handle it. Even mild mannered and consistanly calm before children, having them plays with your hormones and amplifies all your emotions. Especially love. Your job is to focus on the love and the joy and the laughter until everything else is just backround noise.
I recently had a highschool graduate friend ask me, in these words, "So. Motherhood. Do you love it or hate it?"
Her reason for asking was "I'm thinking of having children someday and I want to know if it's worth it."
I pointed out that loving or hating it is far different from whether or not it's "worth it."
It is worth everything I put in. Some days more than others. But if i were keeping score: Joy in motherhood would definitely win.
I guess what I'm trying to say is: *be grateful "The One" didn't show up before you were ready.
*Let God know when you are ready and he will introduce you to MANY men who will be willing to join with you and make a good life.
*choose wisely. Love is important. It can be made in any marriage.
*You do not have to loose yourself to motherhood and marriage. You can magnify your amazingness. It's just that fewer than everybody will see it.
*Missions are awesome and I wish you luck.
*I don't know you very well, but I still think you are awesome. Keep it up.
Woah, I'm jealous of Sayyadina's comment. I love every morsel given to me but I never quite get the full smorgusborg unless we are in the same room. Consider yourself lucky. Your post makes me think about how we stress so much. Sometimes it's harder to have the map I think. We are always looking ahead and fretting over the next river to cross or hill to climb. Like Sayyadina says, be grateful you weren't pushed into anything you weren't ready for. I thank my lucky stars that my life has unfolded at the pace it has. Although I think now I am ready even if I am unprepared. Besides, my eggs are rotting.
Love the Chaaaaarlie wall. Also, you're truncky BEFORE your mission? Wow. You'll get teased incessantly if the chain comes out again for the countdown back home...
amen to Fedaykin's and my wife's comments....
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